It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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