She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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