vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
