Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
