What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
