talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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