I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
