that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
