They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
a search helicopter?!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
