It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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