I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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