My room smells like vodka and shame
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
