I want to make a zoo with you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize