have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
