Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
