i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
