What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
