I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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