No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
