We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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