i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
