oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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