1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
