my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
