Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
