my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
