No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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