so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
