i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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