My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think your dad took our porno
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
