its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
