wakey wakey hands off snakey
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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