you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have post one night stand depression
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