wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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