I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
