she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
