i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
