If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
