Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
