i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
