on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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