He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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