a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
