Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize