FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
