Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(328): View more from

im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

(1-328): View more from

anal.

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(845): View more from New York

my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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(512): View more from Texas

They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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(850): View more from Florida

Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.

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(408): View more from California

Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.

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