Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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