I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
