It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
