She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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