Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
