dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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