a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
