Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
