the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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