Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
