Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i out mim tonsoeep
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