my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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