I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
