Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
