Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
