i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
